Four books about negotiations and difficult conversations

Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In



The grandfather of all negotiation books. And the best place to start reading about this subject. Introduces some of the most important ideas in the field, including the BATNA (Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement) and the idea that you should concentrate on interested and values rather than positions. 20 million copies sold and it's no suprise.

Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most



Very good at describing the whole story of difficult conversations, and why we have to include discussions of feelings and identity if we're going to have a chance of making any progress. Not so good at offering solutions on how to deal with the issues of feelings and identity. Infuriatingly, it doesn't have any kind of bibliography even though it's clear that a lot of the wisdom in it is drawn from other sources.

Beyond Reason: Using Emotions as You Negotiate



A really interesting book which is very good and outlining the different kinds of identity issues that might be at play in a negotiation. The trouble is, it doesn't really do what it says on the tin at all, it definitely doesn't show you how to use your emotions to your advantage in negotiation. Everything is very well referenced, so it's a good sign post to lots of other interesting reading about negotiation.

The Emotional Brain: The Mysterious Underpinnings of Emotional Life



A truly scary book. It shows you how little control the conscious part of your brain has over your emotions, especially the negative ones, fear and anger. The positive side of this is that it makes you realise very quickly that if you want to change your behaviour, a self-help book or a couple of days on a training course isn't going to be enough. You're going to have train yourself to behave differently, create a new "muscle memory" of the new way of behaving.


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